say it with me
- a friend that takes from you frequently and never does anything in return is not a friend
- a friend that loves to cause drama and chaos is not a friend
- a friend that brings stress to your life to the point of you putting your own health and life on the back burner is not a friend
- a friend that only comes to you when they need something is not a friend
- a friend that constantly criticizes and insults you to the point of it hurting your feelings is not a friend
- a friend that guilt trips you frequently is not a friend
- a friend that always chooses others over you because they think they’re “better” is not a friend
- a friend that ignores you in the presence of others or just ignores you a lot in general is not a friend
- a friend that you can’t be yourself around in fear of being judged is not a friend
- a friend that breaks every promise they make and never holds true to their word is not a friend
- you can end a friendship if you want and you do not need to feel guilty over it
You know damn well that I have emotional issues regarding you that I’ve wanted to talk about and potentially fix. You know these emotions exist, yet every time we speak to each other you skate around them and pretend like they don’t. And when I try to bring them up, you pull some bullsh*t out of your ass to prevent us from talking about it, act like a jerk to me, or whatever. You seem convinced that your problems are far more important than mine, and that I’m a fool for having these emotions and that I don’t deserve to feel better simply because you don’t agree with them. And even though you may say none of this directly, it still hurts. It hurts far more than you realize.
I can see you arguing “Well, maybe if you were more DIRECT about it I’d want to talk about it more.” But here’s the thing. I’m just not that kind of person. You know that I’m shy and self-conscious about my feelings. Maybe, just maybe, I’m hoping against all hope that you’ll be the bigger person and acknowledge my issues without me bringing them to your attention, that you’ll be willing to talk about it for the sole purpose of keeping our friendship strong. I’d love it, I really would, if you’d set your own problems aside for once in your life and took time to help me with mine. And maybe that’s kind of selfish of me, but after everything I’ve done to help YOU in these difficult times, I don’t think it’s too much to ask at all for you to show you care as much as I do.
But your attitude and ignorance lately have shown me that that’s not going to happen, and that greatly upsets me. You need two to make a friendship work, and you need to be willing to talk about any problems you may have with each other rather than pretend they don’t exist. Those are the kinds of things that make a friendship stronger. Ignorance and one-sidedness do not.
But you know what? I really don’t care. Because you’re not the only “friend” I have, and they all care about me FAR more than you do. I have friends who would stop their world from turning just to make sure that I’m okay, who would spend weeks to months teaching me ways in which I can improve myself and make my life better. But you, you wouldn’t lift a finger for me. If it doesn’t have to do with YOUR problems, you refuse to acknowledge it.
And for all of this, I’m sorry. But it’s over between us. If I’m going to be thankful for any of my friends, it’ll be for the ones who actually give a damn. I will never hate you, because I’m not the hating type… but that doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed in you.
(NOTE: This isn’t directed at anyone on Tumblr. XP It’s about a… former IRL friend.)
Why Men and Women Can’t Be “Just Friends”
I have no idea where to even begin with this video. I don’t know what it is about the human race that keeps them from acknowledging the opposite gender as more than sex objects. Seriously, is it really that much of a stretch to imagine inter-gender friendships without the idea of sexual tension being involved?
I found this on Reddit, and some of the top comments included the inevitable “moment of silence for all the guys those girls friendzoned” posts. Boys, get the fuck over yourselves. Every time I read a post about “Friendzoning” or “Nice Guys,” I lose a little bit more faith in my gender. Learn that not every woman wants to have sex with you, and that it’s actually OKAY to form friendships with them WITHOUT the expectation of eventually getting laid.
What happened to our society that we automatically assume inter-gender friendships are nothing more than a path to sex? I’m sure I could blame movies, TV, or any number of social sources. No matter what the source, one thing is certain: this sort of thought will greatly inhibit any progress towards gender equality. We can’t assume platonic friendship between a man and a woman without a) the man being gay, b) the woman leading him on, or c) them eventually ending up in bed together. It’s disgusting and ccompletely devalues what friendships are. It’s not healthy for either gender, and it’s not healthy for society.
Men: if you can’t form a friendship with a woman without the hope of sex with her, you have no right to call yourself a man in my eyes. Stop whining about being friendzoned or any of that other bullshit and accept friendship and emotional connection for what it is. That’s what real men do.
Wow. This data totally doesn’t have bias at all. Also hilarious that the women’s opinions get disregarded because the guy defines what is legitimate friendship or not. Way to go, dude.
I bet if I told him about my guy friends, he’d point out the fact that a) most of them are gay and b) most of the straight guys have girlfriends already. But I dunno the fact that I have guy friends that have girlfriends yet still enjoy my company as a friend should really say something about this “theory” being total bullshit. I’m pretty sure they’re not secretly trying to get in my pants or wishing for a threesome or some shit. AND IF THEY ARE, I’M GOING TO BEAT THEM AND STEAL THEIR GIRLFRIENDS FROM THEM.
Seriously, though, I feel like this kinda stuff insults the character of male persons as much as it totally negates the significance of female persons. And that shit don’t fly with Kilo.
God this pisses me off, so much. Like, not only does this erase asexuality, aromanticism, etc it promotes the idea that all men are some how perverted sex maniacs.
……Wow. I… don’t really know what to say that hasn’t been said already. But after watching this video, I don’t think it’s really a stretch to describe myself as completely and utterly disgusted. As a straight guy, I find this video very, very insulting. Mostly because 90% of the men in this video are only solidifying the stereotypical belief that we’re all a bunch of sex-driven pigs.
Yeah, I just… I can’t. I guess all the non-sexual bonds I’ve formed with my many female friends are completely worthless in the eyes of the society, huh? It’s so degrading to think that I’m in the minority here. =_=
I actually doodled this quite a while back for Inksplatter’s birthday, but I felt, considering the many things that have been going wrong for her lately, that this piece is more relevant than ever.
She really is like a little sister to me, the best I could ever ask for. It honestly pains me to see her faced with so much trouble. If nothing else, I want her to know that I love her and that her big American brother is always going to be here for her, no matter what. <3